Saturday, November 15, 2008

Reunion in Heaven.....

My ex-sister in law sent this to me today and I thought it was too funny.
{read this last}

Now on to my blessed Saturday,
Ok, I got to spend the day with some of the ladies at our church today. It was the ladies on the food committee, and i had a great time. I wish it could have been for happier circumstances.
It was for a after funeral dinner for my daughters step- great- grandmother and a member of our church.
Mrs.Jolley; She was 100 years and 7 months old.
As I sat there listening to the preachers talk about her and her life and how she had been saved for more than 86 years, all the things in her life she came to see pass, it was almost more than i could take.

As they described what a loving, Godly woman she was, I began to think of the times I was in her home and how kind and sweet she was too me.
I am the ex- wife of her NEW grandson-in-law.
( well about 9 years now, but still... the EX-wife)
Granted, if you know us, you know that we are not the "norm" of divorced families. We all have a VERY different relationship that most divorced families. We spend holidays, birthdays and any other time we can as a family.
We came to realize, it is not about us( my ex husband, his wife, me or my husband) it is ALL about our kids.
My ex-husband has a precious new baby {well, she is almost 3, but still our baby} that I love like she is mine.
God has given us a gift in our relationship. I love his new wife and thank God for our relationship that He healed and gave to us.
My daughters look at us and know that they are ok to love us all with out fear of hurting one set of parents or the other, and that is a good freedom to have. To be free to love everyone the same. God is a healing, giving and compassionate God.
God is good.

Grandma did not have to be the arm opened woman that she was to me, but she was.I thank God that she loved my daughters like they were her own flesh and blood, and OH MY how they loved her.

I pray today that God gives her family peace and comfort in the days and years ahead.
To keep His arms wrapped tightly around them and reassure them daily, that she is better off and know each time they think of her know that she is rejoicing with Him right now,in that exact moment.

My youngest daughter Megan, who is 10, has a hard time dealing with death and separation. On Wednesday night when I broke the news to them, she and I sat and cried for quite a while. I tried to explain to her that grandma Jolley was probably up in Heaven right now telling my daddy all about his beautiful, sweet grand daughters. The more I tried to console her, the worse I got. Just the thought of her being in heaven talking with my daddy, bragging on how much she loved the girls and catching him up on the things he has missed, was more than I could take.

You see, this is how I cope with death and loosing someone I love. I believe that God allows the people they loved the most that has already gone home, to be the one to come and get them. That when we go to sleep and open our eyes, the one we loved the most is the one there to take us to heaven to see Jesus.
He allows them to tell the ones who have missed so much all the great things that has gone on. To fill them in on all our good things in our life. So every time I loose someone I love, I am sure daddy gets to sit around and talk about the ones he loves the most, his babies. To take pride and joy in our blessings and accomplishments here in this life on earth.

So as I told Meg that I am sure grandpa Jolley was the one who came to get grandma, I was praying and putting my request in that when the day comes, and it is my time, I hope my daddy is the one who comes and tells me it is my time to go and that Daddy is the one who gets to take me by the hand and lead me through the transition from her to there.
Oh how I miss him every day. It is a consolation to know where he is and that he is not suffering anymore, but my flesh takes over and my heart aches.
I am thankful to God that I still have my mother here with me, and i pray for grandmas children that have had to bury both their mother and their father. May God touch their hearts and comfort them.

I just want to say again how I enjoyed my day with the ladies. Thank you for making me and my family feel so welcome and a part of your church family.
I am thankful that God has brought me to this place I am in my life. To have given me my family, children, friends and church.
Thank you God for your blessings on my life.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Up late and.........

Well I am sitting here looking at our puppy Brody, and listening to Rik not so quietly sleeping, because HE DOES NOT SNORE, {haha}
and ESPN is blaring in the living room.

I have been reading blogs for about 2 hrs,
Lisa, i promise i was listening last
I did read the Bible already so on to my "mindless, alone, not so quiet, non-thinking bliss!! blogging!!! {sigh}

The kids are all at "the other" houses this weekend, so I feel all alone...well except for my hibernating bear on the couch.
I always say I need alone time...but truth is, I am not real comfortable when my babies are not here.

Another truth...I think I'd rather have 30 kids here than have my 4 gone anywhere.

Any way.....
I was reading some scriptures and I came upon some things that I had written and read in front of the congregation of a church that we were youth pastor's.
Once a month we had youth night and it was all about our youth and from time to time Rik would ask me to pray and get something together, well I prayed all the time, but you know what I mean, pray for God to reveal to me what He wanted me to say.

Well anyway, this one certain night it all began with the song by Casting Crowns "Who Am I".
Well, last night in our devotion lead by Sis Lisa, i listened to her talk at our Angles meeting, and she told us about a book she was reading and how in it...{i promise i was taking it all in} , the character{sorry you are going to kill me...but i cannot remember the name} was on a journey and he lost his scroll because he was taking a break and fell asleep on a bench where he lost his scroll..aka Bible. This bench was only meant for a rest, NOT a sleep, well she told us of how when he woke up and started back on his long journey up the steep mountain, he had not realized he had lost his scroll until he had almost reached the top.
He then turned around, retraced his steps until he found it and then began again...the whole time thinking to himself how much farther along he would have been if ONLY he had done what God had instructed him to do in the first place and if he had been more careful and faithful.

Well, it took me back to the message God had given me along time ago. There are times in our lives that we "leave" God somewhere, go on OUR journey alone, find ourselves in a hard spot without Him , have to turn around and retrace our steps and find Him.

NOT where He left us....but where WE left Him, and the whole time thinking to our much farther in life we would be if we had only listened to God and been more faithful.
God has promised us that He would never leave or forsake us, but have we, have I ever promised Him that?

I have been really searching myself lately and asking myself some tough questions:
1. Have I ever promised God the promises He has promised me?
2. Why am I not as faithful to Him as He is me?

I do not know why God is so good to me, I do not deserve it. I know the Bible tells me that we all fall short of the Glory of God, but geese, sometimes I do not even like me, and through all that God loves me more.

I know that there have been times in my life that I have went out on my own and made choices and the been like
"God, how could you have let this happen"and as sure as I am writing this tonight God has spoke to me and said "Let this happen, you never even asked for My help, YOU let this happen, you chose it".

Not for one second do I think that God is a mean Father.
I just know that in life, we have to get to the bottom sometimes, before we can look up....look up and see God. To realize He has been right there waiting for us to see Him and ask Him for the help to get back up and begin again.

I know in my life, I do not want to ask God about EVERY THING because some stuff seems like a no brainer....but those NO BRAINERS is what has gotten me in the most trouble along the way in my journey. God wants us to call on Him, little or big, He is there and cares about our every need and desire...........
I often think, Who am I that God would love me so much. Good or Bad, no matter what He is always right there with His arms opened wide waiting for me to run to Him. He is my comfort and my rock, just like my earthly daddy was. Ready to love me, see the good in me when I do not even see it in myself. Pick me up when I fall, brush me off and set me back on the path I need to be traveling. God is good! is WAY past my bed time. it is only showing 10:49 pm, but is is after midnight.....too late for me.
It is obvious.........longest post ever.
Maybe by anyone. ha ha
Anyone who knows me knows I can talk, and we all know I can type too. lol
Therapy......venting.......what ever is good. {sigh}

Monday, November 10, 2008


Good morning. I just want to start by saying I missed being at church yesterday morning. We went on a spur of the moment road trip to Mississippi. All my daddy's family live in Pontotoc, Ms, and that is where he is buried. I usually try to go about 5 or 6 times a year, keep in mind it only takes us about 3 1/2 hrs(maybe 4 if we have to make alot of pit stops, which this time we did!)to get there. We took our newest addition to the family, BRODY. He is our miniature Shih Tzu. No one has seen him yet and we cannot stand to think of him being cooped up in the house all alone for 1 full day and 2 we took him. But anyway, a friend of Rick's moved to Oxford, Ms to get married and go to Ole'Miss. Well we he got him a job at my cousins business and he called to tell us how much he loves it and how great my family is and how welcome they have all made him feel. WELL....that did it. Rick hung up the phone and i said"Let's go", he said, "NOW?!" Then i said"Yes, now!" Needless to say it took our kids all of 5 minutes to have their clothes, tooth brushes, ds's, ipod's, dvd player and pillows in the car. You see when I was a little girl we lived there and the people and the town is my favorite things on earth, {besides my mom, brother, husband and kids OF COURSE!!} and it is a favorite I have passed on to my husband and all 4 kids.
The town is the kind that I wish my, our, town was. Everyone works together to make it a better place to be and to raise kids in.
It was decorated for Fall. Every business in town and all the elementary classes made different types of scarecrows, it was the cutest thing I have ever seen. They have a big town square that is in the center of all the cute little stores and then big town hall and court house. In the center square is where all the schools' scarecrows were. I could go on all day but ....I think you get the point and the love I am am oooosing!
So we are home and part of my heart stayed behind.
Of course like always, the cemetery has to be the last stop to say good bye to Daddy and it kills me. That{the cemetery} has to be the hardest place on earth for me to go. Even though I miss and talk to him everyday, i guess it is the reality that goes along with the visit that is almost too much for me to bare. Walking away and getting in the car to leave feels like I am leaving him there alone.
This is an issue that I have that I am not sure is natural or if anyone else that has lost someone that they love more than life feels as well.
One day Ponototoc is where I will live and finally feel like I have "come home" too. Luckily, Rick and the kids love the thought of that as much as I do.
My family is great and I miss them
SOOOOOmuch when I am away too long.
We are going back in a few weeks for my cousins wedding and once again....I will have separation anxiety!
We are home and I want to thank God for a safe trip and a wonderful visit!!
PS:::by the way, a friend that I grew up with their and have always been close too when I visit, her mom has a Christmas tree farm and sells Christmas ornaments and other collectibles. I will give you the web site if you may want to go and look. My cousin is having a Christmas wedding and Saturday was her "Christmas" themed wedding shower, she received MANY gifts and alot were from the tree farm and a place different gift stores in town that order from a wonderful place called Southern living. This place has pottery pieces that are beautiful. You should take a look at both, they have wonderful things!! Hope you take a look and enjoy them as much as I do!! &

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Jehovah Nissi....He reigns in VICTORY!!

These are some POWERFUL lyrics from one of my favorite songs. Every time I hear it i cannot help but become over whelmed. When i listen to this song and truly LISTEN to the lyrics, the Holy Spirit truly ministers to me in a HUGE way.
When I think of how Huge God is and how He is ALL things to me in literally breaks me in a way that i need broken. It brings me back to my knees and His feet.
We have to remember at this time in our lives and our country, that in ALL things God has promised us that He is in control. He is our provider, healer,peace, DELIVERER and most of all He WILL reign in VICTORY!!!
This is what we all have to remember to cling to and praise Him for. Give Him glory in all things. Things may not have turned out like we all may have wanted, BUT what we do have to remember is that GOD does NOT make mistakes, and even in this He is in control and it is for a reason.
God has given us a promise that He will not break.
He told us that good will come to all those who love and serve Him.
I have 4 children looking at me everyday, watching my actions and wondering how we will react to the country's decision on our new president. I am like alot of other people, what i disagree with it IS NOT because the winner is not white ;
It is what he and his party stands for. I feel like God has given us a responsibility as His children to uphold His commandments.
I would not have cared what color he is, he does not uphold God's law. THAT is what I have issues with.
With all that said, I have to try and teach my children that we accept all people no matter the color, to respect our elders and the leaders set in position above us.
What example will I be setting if i continually, everyday, whine and fuss and talk down or about the next president of the United States?
This is the question that keeps me in check.{in front of my 4 children with very open ears and watchful eyes}{LOL ...BUT really... i am trying}
Of course, anyone who knows ME knows, i tend to speak my mind on issues that I am passionate about.
It is either a blessing or curse, not sure.
We have to fight hard for what we believe and spread God's word and PRAY that He comes back soon, and pray that the next 4 years will be better that we all worry about, and remember that God is all things to all of us if we trust and seek Him.
Here are the lyrics that Rock my soul and bring me to my knees EVERY TIME i hear them.{ by the way, you can look up the song on u tube under Judy Jacobs videos. It is named Because of who you are.}{I hope you enjoy it as much as i do and you are blessed!!}
"Thank you, Jesus
Thank you, Lord
I Praise you, Lord
Because of who You are, I give you glory
Jehovah Jireh you are my provider
Jehovah Nissi you reign in victory
Jehovah Shalom you are my prince of peace
Jehovah Rapha you are my healer
Jehovah Shammah you are ALWAYS with me
Jehovah Sabaoth you are my strong deliverer"

Because of who you are I will give you Glory.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day!! Let us all pray!

Ok girls it's the day we have all either been dreading or waiting for. My self, dreading. Anything that gives me more stress....i am always dreading. I get caught up in the moment of not being able to go to bed or sleep until I know what is going on.
Either way this goes tonight, I do know that God is in control and ALL things work out for the good if we trust and believe in Him. God is good and will see us through. All of that being said, There is a part of this CRAZY election process I am excited about.....working with Jenny today. As any of you know that has been reading my stuff, I have to do 10 hrs of community service for college, WELL I called and asked about helping out at the poll's today...and YES....she helped a SISTA'out!
So this is a win win for me, I get to talk to people all day, laugh and work with my buddy Jenny PLUS I get my hours logged in for school!! What can be better. Thanks girly. I'll let y'all know how it goes! Pray today for God's will to be done in this election for our country, and get out and VOTE! It is our right, responsibility and privilege.
Have a GREAT day!!